My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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