I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
