a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
