I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
