Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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