"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
