Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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