did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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