I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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