Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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