idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
