Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
BRING THE BAGELS
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize