my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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