Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
