i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
