i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
