is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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