Yo dont text me then not text me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
