We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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