the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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