no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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