3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
