sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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