he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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