somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
