does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
