GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
