The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
