Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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