dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
