somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
