how can u be prego again
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
