A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
