Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
