He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
