Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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