two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
