Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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