i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My ass is underappreciated
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
