If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
