That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
