go do what you do best...puke behind churches
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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