The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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