i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
