I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
