Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
