Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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