woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize