I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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