Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
