I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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