"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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