Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
