why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
