Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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