Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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