I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
