That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
