Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
