she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
