I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
