I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
