the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
