You can't motorboat a personality
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
