He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
