Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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