Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
