Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize