rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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